“You should be over this by now.” “Just let it go.” “You need to move on.”
If you’ve ever heard these words—or told them to yourself—you’re not alone. But at MIMO, we believe that the pressure to “get over it” isn’t just unhelpful. It’s harmful.
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting, ignoring, or pretending something never hurt you. Healing means learning to relate to your pain differently—with more care, more safety, and more compassion.
Why “Getting Over It” Doesn’t Work
The idea of “getting over it” assumes:
- Healing is linear and has a clear end point
- Time alone should be enough to feel better
- Strong emotions are a sign of weakness or failure
But trauma, grief, and emotional pain don’t work that way. Your body and nervous system don’t follow a neat schedule. They follow felt safety.
What Healing Actually Looks Like
Healing is:
- A wave that returns—even when you thought it was gone
- Feeling triggered by things you thought you “worked through”
- Moments of joy followed by guilt or sadness
- Pausing, noticing, and responding differently than you once did
- Noticing softness where there used to be shutdown
Healing is not about being “done.” It’s about building capacity—what we deepen through the Window of Tolerance. It’s about responding to your pain with care, not panic.
What We Miss When We Pressure Ourselves to “Move On”
When we internalize the myth of “getting over it,” we often:
- Suppress or bypass our emotions to meet external expectations
- Shame ourselves when grief resurfaces
- Judge our nervous system’s protective patterns
- Hide our pain from others to seem “strong” or “functional”
But emotions that are buried alive don’t die. They live in our bodies.
What to Say Instead of “Get Over It”
If you’re supporting yourself or someone else through healing, try these alternatives:
- “This still hurts—and that makes sense.”
- “There’s no rush. We’ll take it slow.”
- “You're allowed to feel everything.”
- “Healing isn’t a straight line. It’s okay to revisit things.”
These statements invite space, not shame. And space is what the nervous system needs to soften and integrate.
Healing as Reconnection, Not Erasure
True healing isn’t about erasing the pain. It’s about reclaiming your relationship to it.
It's about:
- Reconnecting with your body after disconnection
- Reclaiming your voice after silence
- Feeling your feelings fully without drowning in them
- Believing joy is allowed, even after everything
Healing doesn’t require total recall—it requires present-tense safety, awareness, and care.
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Behind. You’re Becoming.
There is no timeline for healing. There is no finish line to cross. There is only you, in this moment, offering yourself something you may have never received before: gentle permission to heal at your own pace.
At MIMO, we believe that healing is not about “getting over it.” It’s about growing with it. Learning from it. And slowly, steadily, becoming someone who knows how to hold themselves with care—even when it still hurts.